


thereupon these errors are arose (the comedy’s in the errors remix)

by EachPeachPearPlum



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comedy of Errors, Established Relationship, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Roleplay, roleplay gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EachPeachPearPlum/pseuds/EachPeachPearPlum
Summary: Steve is new to this wholelet's pretend I don't know you so we can have anonymous sexroleplay thing, but for Tony, he’s more than willing to give it a go. And, because he's himself, Captain America, supersoldier and master tactician, he's got much of the evening worked out in advance.The plan: showing up at the SI holiday party, in costume and in character, and pretending he doesn't already know the handsome billionaire who hits on him.Really not in the plan: his handsome billionaire boyfriend hitting on someone else.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56
Collections: 2021 Captain America/Iron Man Remix Exchange





	thereupon these errors are arose (the comedy’s in the errors remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jellybeanforest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeanforest/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Comedy of Errors](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27746587) by [jellybeanforest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeanforest/pseuds/jellybeanforest). 



> The week before I got my assignment for CapIM remix, I was (re)reading a number of jellybeanforest's fics and mentally raving about how wonderful they are and how much I wished I had their talent. So, you can probably imagine how I felt when I got my remix assignment...
> 
> Anyway, I have really enjoyed having the opportunity to (re)reread a number of your fics, jellybeanforest, and I really hope I've done your fic justice.
> 
> Thank you mods for putting this event together and being so understanding of how hard life hits sometimes!
> 
> (Title is from Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors, so I can claim zero credit for that)

Steve isn’t entirely sure about this whole roleplay thing. He knows other people enjoy that kind of thing and he’s not one to begrudge anyone something they enjoy, but he’s spent too long on the USO circuit pretending to be someone he isn’t to really see the appeal in doing it himself.

But Tony’s asked him if they can give it a whirl, and Steve… Steve loves him enough that, on the rare occasion Tony wants something enough to ask for it, he has to have a hell of a lot better a reason than not seeing the appeal to say no.

If Tony wants Steve to dress up as someone else and act like they’ve never met each other before so Tony can pick him up at the Stark Industries party tonight and they can have pseudo-anonymous sex in the workshop, Steve’s going to do his best to make sure the experience is everything his boyfriend is looking for, and even if the pickup part feels strange to him he has absolutely zero complaints about the bit where they’re going to head down to Tony’s lab and… _fondue_.

He puts all the effort Tony deserves from him into choosing his costume and his character, mentally reciting the backstory he’s settled on just as diligently as he does when he has to go undercover. He spends an age in front of the mirror practicing introducing himself with his chosen name, repeats his date of birth, address and social security number until they feel natural, thinks up a whole load of tiny details Tony is never going to ask him for but will hopefully make his character feel less like a cardboard cutout and more like an actual person.

He’s Lieutenant Steven Smith, recently returned from service overseas and instructed by the brass to use any means necessary to get Tony Stark to agree to design for them again. Not weapons, just body armour, because he doesn’t think _I want you to go back on everything you’ve said you stand for_ is the kind of thing likely to get Tony in the mood, even if it comes with Steve’s very best attempt at a flirtatious _are you sure there’s nothing I can do to convince you?_

The uniform came from Natasha, because of course she knows how to get a set of dress greens in precisely his size at almost zero notice. She didn’t ask why he wanted it, and Steve chooses to believe it’s because she’s respecting his privacy than because she’s already figured it out.

He’s at the gala before Tony, but that’s both normal for any place they’re travelling to separately and exactly what Steve was hoping would happen this evening. Getting here first means he can find himself a safe place to observe the room from, somewhere with poor enough lighting that no one will recognise him as Captain America (he considered adding something to help disguise his face a little, glasses or facial hair of some kind, but all he can picture is Tony leaning in for a kiss and Steve’s hypothetical fake moustache sticking to his face instead when he pulls back again, so he’s going without) and wonder why he’s in a uniform other than his usual red, white and blue, hopefully a place he won’t have to engage in too much conversation before Tony shows up.

It’s obvious when that happens, because the crowd parts like the Red Sea, everyone wanting to gaze upon the great Tony Stark, no one quite ready to be the first to approach him.

No one but Steve, anyway, and he’s waiting until the initial gawking fades a little and he can get close without drawing too much of an audience.

“Captain Rogers?” says an officious voice, just as Steve is about to leave his safe corner to get hit on by his boyfriend.

It’s just instinct to turn towards the speaker, one Steve has followed through on before he can think better of it. He regrets it, because he’s essentially confirming his identity rather than playing the part he’s assigned himself, then regrets it even more when he sees who has approached him.

“Doctor Richards,” he says flatly, just that and nothing more, rather hoping the other man will get the hint and leave him alone; he doesn’t necessarily share Tony’s low opinion of Reed Richards, but he is very much not in the mood for a long conversation.

Unfortunately, Richards seems to be every bit as oblivious as Tony says he is, since he begins talking about the Avengers’ last face off with Doom and doesn’t seem inclined to stop anytime soon. Steve usually does his best to pay attention when a person thinks something is important enough to overcome their reluctance to bother Captain America – at least, he does if it’s not someone he’s actively in the process of fighting – but he has to confess he starts to tune out Richards somewhere around the time he starts pointing out all the things Steve’s team did wrong and all the ways the Fantastic Four could have defeated Doom sooner.

Instead, Steve allows his attention to wander, Richards’ voice fading until it’s little more than background noise as Steve mentally goes over the next steps of his plan.

He’s aware it’s probably not what Tony would have expected, that Steve would approach this new twist to their relationship with all the same seriousness he has when he goes into battle. Then again, his friends insist on teasing him for his ‘Boy Scout preparedness’, so perhaps Tony knows full well that Steve has mental pages worth of plans, everything from what he’ll say to what he’ll do to how he’ll stand, not to mention half a hundred attempts to predict Tony’s replies and his responses in return.

Steve will start with _hello, Doctor Stark_ , because he knows Tony secretly likes that. He’ll introduce himself with his admittedly unimaginative pseudonym, explain why fake him is there, and ask if there’s somewhere more private they can talk, at which point Tony will put the moves on him and they’ll advance to the part of the evening Steve is a lot more familiar with.

That, he hasn’t planned for, because he can be spontaneous, whatever his friends might say. 

(Well, he’s thinking it’ll probably start with him on his knees, and possibly finish with him bent over Tony’s worktable, but everything in the middle is still open to suggestion.)

Though, actually, he’d sort of expected Tony to have approached him by now.

Steve allows even more of his attention to drift away from Richards’ diatribe, his gaze roaming the room, looking for Tony.

He’s not there.

Steve doesn’t jump straight to panic, because Tony is a grown adult, more than capable of looking after himself. If someone tried to make Tony leave against his will, he would have done everything within his power to prevent that happening; maybe he’s not Iron Man without the suit, but he’s still _Tony Stark_ , the most brilliant man Steve has ever met, and in the unlikely event his brilliance fails him his ability to cause a scene is possibly even more legendary.

No, Tony would only have left his party by choice, so mostly Steve is just confused. After how into this Tony was, why would he leave without telling Steve he was going?

Well, if Tony isn’t going to approach Steve, Steve will just have to be the one to do the approaching.

“Did you see where Tony went?” he asks, cutting Richards off in the middle of a diatribe about how Steve shouldn’t allow Thor to spend so much time off-world, what kind of leader is he, etc etc etc.

It takes a moment for Richards to register that Steve has interrupted him, his expression so profoundly baffled that someone who didn’t know him might think this was the first time it happened.

“Tony?” he asks a few seconds later.

Steve doesn’t roll his eyes. He wants to, definitely, but he doesn’t. “Tony _Stark_?” he prompts. “Iron Man?” _You know, the guy who owns the building we’re in and the company this is a party for?_

“Hmm? Oh, he and Johnny went in that direction.” Richards points, slightly further than the average person might be able to point.

 _At least the context was obvious when I used only someone’s first name_ , Steve thinks, trying very hard to work out if he knows anyone by that name. It takes a few seconds of mentally cycling through his friends and acquaintances to get to Johnny Storm, AKA the Human Torch. Steve’s never seen him without the flames, but since he would definitely have noticed if there was a man on fire in the room he has to assume he was in his regular human shape, which Nat and Clint have insisted looks weirdly like Steve.

No.

Surely not.

Tony would have noticed the man he was talking to wasn’t Steve, wouldn’t he? Even if he’s expecting Steve to be playing a role, pretending not to know him, he’d be able to tell the difference.

Right?

“Excuse me, Doctor Richards,” he says, more concerned about how Storm might react to Tony coming on to him than he is for any of the social niceties. “I should check on my teammate.”

Not that it would have mattered if he had been concerned about good manners, because Richards elects to follow him to the elevator.

“Sue said I was to keep Johnny out of trouble tonight, and I shudder to think what he and Stark might get up to if left unsupervised,” he explains, then immediately launches back into his unsolicited critique of the Avengers’ fighting style, still seemingly unaware of his audience’s complete lack of interest in the topic.

Steve fidgets through the elevator ride, then practically marches down the hall to the lab when it stops.

The glass walls of Tony’s workspace come into view, still transparent, not yet frosted the way they are when Tony wants privacy, and Steve finds himself faltering momentarily because that’s Tony, his Tony, and he’s got his hands all over someone who is _not_ Steve.

Well, all over is perhaps an exaggeration; Tony is in the process of fastening the straps of the new shield retrieval system he’s working on to Storm’s arm, and quite clearly taking the opportunity to squeeze his bicep, but that’s it. It’s as innocent as groping someone possibly can be, and it’s very obvious that Tony thinks it’s Steve he’s groping – Christ, it’s like looking in a slightly less muscular mirror, Steve can absolutely understand how Tony has confused the two of them – and yet it stings, like someone has slapped him in the face.

Steve falters, just for a moment, and then Storm shoves Tony away, expression closed off, posture screaming an instruction to back off, back away, he’s just not interested.

Tony’s face falls, the hurt he feels at this rejection so obvious that Steve is down the hall and pushing the door open before Storm can say anything more than a frosty, “Mr Stark, I-”

“Tony,” Steve says, firm enough to cut off Storm, hopefully gentle enough that Tony won’t think Steve’s pissed off at him for what is so obviously an accident.

Tony looks from Storm to Steve and back again, his thoughts practically painted on his face: _What the-?_ followed by _skrull?_ and _LMD?_ and anything else at all that might lead one person to look like another. He can also see Tony dismiss all of those thoughts as he clocks the differences between them, Storm’s shorter hair, narrower shoulders, clearly fashionable clothing…

“Who are you?” he demands coldly.

Storm looks at him like he’s lost his marbles. “Johnny,” he says slowly. “I was introduced to you maybe fifteen minutes ago?”

Tony opens his mouth to reply, probably not all that kindly, and it is definitely time Steve steps in, before Tony says something he’s going to regret later, once he figures out what’s going on.

“Johnny Storm,” he explains. “The Human Torch, which might explain why you don’t recognise him?” He waits until Tony is frowning slightly less before crossing to Storm and saying, “You want to go back to the party, son?”

“Yeah… I think that would be best.” Storm looks relieved, and not unreasonably so, given that he’s spent the last who knows how long being accidentally harassed by one of the richest and most powerful men on the planet.

Sadly, as Steve walks him to the elevator and they head back downstairs, he also looks like he’s working out things Steve might have preferred him not to.

Sure enough, by the time the doors open in the lobby and Steve starts to steer them back to the party, Storm is smirking every bit as widely as Bucky used to whenever he came across Steve talking to Peggy. “So Stark thought I was you, right?”

“Well, we do look alike,” Steve replies, deciding feigning ignorance is absolutely the way to go.

Storm nods, looking like he’s giving Steve credit for making the effort but absolutely not buying it. “Yeah, freaky, that, but he was also hitting on me pretty hard, and he was really surprised I wasn’t into it. Something I should know about that, Cap?” Just in case Steve hasn’t picked up on his meaning, he waggles his eyebrows suggestively, a gesture Steve finds frankly disturbing on a face that looks so much like his own.

The only thing in Steve’s brain after seeing that is _I can neither confirm nor deny_ , which, as it happens, is spectacularly unhelpful, and definitely the fault of all that PR training Pepper and SHIELD have insisted on.

“I see how it is,” Storm says after a moment of deeply uncomfortable (at least on Steve’s side) silence. “Well, as long as you boys are being careful. Safe, sane and consensual, all that jazz…” He winks, grinning. “Best go save your boytoy before Reed drives him insane. See you around, Cap.”

That, Steve thinks, is a very good suggestion.

Besides, he sacrificed a great deal of dignity when he had Natasha acquire this uniform for him, and it would be a shame if he didn’t at least end the evening with it crumpled on the floor.


End file.
